Blame Game...

If you type "adam" into your Google search, your first four choices are:


adam levine
adam lanza
adam sandler
adam lambert


Nearly everyone would know which titles match with which Adam--musician, comedian, television personality, movie star, murderer. I actually thought Lanza would be first on the list, considering the amount of media coverage surrounding the story and the Frontline that just aired. Levine being at the top of the list reminded me that middle school girls are still incredibly self-involved. But the second Adam, Adam Lanza, is the one I am thinking of today.


I'm not condoning his behaviors or making excuses. This was a horrible, tragic event. I don't know what can come from it. Other than the initial reaction of counting your blessings, it seems to have started a gun debate that, like almost everything political, has no right or wrong answers, and seemingly turns both sides into a bunch of cowards because everyone's made themselves so strident they've forgotten the concept of compromise can exist.


But it isn't the Facebook arguments or the memes that bother me the most, it's the need to assign blame. Blame the parents! Blame the sensory processing disorder! Blame the Asperger's! Blame the video games! Blame the schools for not getting him for help! Blame the shrinks! Blame the divorce! Blame! Blame! Blame! Well, the need to assign blame must be a by-product of our lawsuit happy society! Blame the lawyers! He wanted to top the death toll of that Norwegian guy who killed 77 people! Blame the media! Why are you reading about him? He's the bad guy! It's your fault!


Blame is an odd beast. It allows us to deflect our part in the humanity of others, to judge instead of attempt understand. We never have to consider our part in something when we shove the blame off on something else. The Newtown case is just a big, fat, glaring example of something we do everyday. Assigning responsibility for faults, no matter how large or minute, or judging and categorizing people are more the American pastime than baseball. This allows us to feel superior over others, but it really just makes us pawns in a game.


I'm trying to achieve a higher level of thinking when it comes to others, instead of blaming and judgment, I'm making an effort to experience the perceived fault as my own. Like it or not, many times the words or actions of others that we allow to affect us most negatively actually trip something about ourselves on which we need to work. Like I spoke about last time, this is all part of my journey of understanding.

And yes, I have blamed the dogs for farts. I'm a work in progress.