The bitches are pretty clear about what they like. Food, play, and sleep top the list. They like to run, they like to have their ears scratched, and I’m pretty sure they like to practice being cute while I’m at work. Most of the things they really seem to like have to do with getting my attention.
Canines are pretty good at commanding attention. To be more precise, I should say they demand your attention. Anyone who has ever been followed around the house by his dog or felt that nose pushing under her hand, just begging for some petting knows exacting what I’m talking about. Even when they’ve been naughty, after a little time has passed, I’m totally okay if I sit down to read or watch TV and suddenly a little furry brownhead is resting on my thigh as if to say, “I’m here, I love you, and please love me back.”
Humans aren’t as quick to demand attention or ask for forgiveness, at least the ones who need it most. Babies rightfully have the capacity and we all know some adult babies who will suck the life out of you if you let them. Today I have been thinking about one particular friend of mine who just got a special visit from someone very dear to him.
Saturday was my friend’s birthday, you see, and while he is a very young man, life has been difficult. It wasn’t for lack of family or love, but rather issues with anger and drugs that led to some horrible choices that have made this life a hard one for him. This birthday and many, many future birthdays will be spent in prison. This isn’t a debate about any aspect of the judicial system. My friend was part of a crime that led to the death of another person. Some might say that letting him rot in a cell for decades is exactly what he deserves. Others, like me, would say that we shouldn’t be singularly judged by the worst of our actions. But that isn’t why I was thinking about my friend.
The last time I saw him, he was standing on a corner downtown. He was barefoot, babbling to himself, and obviously messed up. I knew he wasn’t in contact with his PO. He hadn’t been working at the restaurant with me for a few weeks and by the looks of him, I doubted that he had a job. He didn’t notice me and for a second, I thought about making the call. Not much time had passed since a DWI and I remembered the name of the PO. Then I thought about something a former boss said to me in regards to people with substance abuse issues, “Sometimes you gotta give them enough rope to let them hang themselves.”
Since I never thought of myself as a snitch, I sided with the latter advice and figured he would miss enough appointments, eventually find himself back in court, and maybe have a good shot at sobriety this time. Unknowingly, maybe he was begging for my attention, just like the bitches do. In my wildest dreams, I never thought he would be charged in a murder case.
I knew him as a charming, fun young man who was a good worker. I’ve known his grandma for many years and consider her a friend as well. She absolutely loved and adored him from the moment he was born. When he was getting into trouble as a kid, she always made a point to visit him and remind him that he was loved no matter what. But the last arrest was it for her and she couldn’t bring herself to visit him over the past couple of years.
I can’t imagine the feeling of seeing all the hopes and dreams you have for a child you love crushed, whether by his own actions or the actions of another. It must be one of the worst feelings in the entire world. One of the old adages about prison is that it isn’t just the person on the inside who is doing time. It’s also the ones who love them. No matter how reprehensible the crime, it’s a near certainty that the prisoner is important to someone and loved by someone. So I guess you hang on to hope, just like I had to when the bitches weren’t getting along. The hope that no matter whether freedom comes in 40 days or 40 years, everyone can find a little peace along the way.
His grandma went to visit on his birthday. We talked a little about it, about the emotions, the tears, and how he has changed. She had to distance herself from all of it for a long time, just to protect herself, I guess. And to be honest, I don’t really feel like that reunion is my story to share right now. I’m just incredibly thankful that it happened.
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