I Am So Glad You Are Here To Mansplain That To Me...

Mansplaining is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying.

Like really, really annoying. I just was involved in a fairly long, completely meaningless thread on The Book that started as a young woman's articulate post on her disapproval of the restrictive abortion heartbeat law in North Dakota. I was one of over 100 people who liked it. It wasn't snarky or sarcastic, just her reaction to being upset about the law. The first handful of comments were supportive or tolerant. And then it turned into the Man Show.

Men talking about how life is a miracle, how abortion leads to regrets, and how the government doesn't force anyone to have sex. No sir, actually our fellow humans seeped in rape culture do force people to have sex sometimes.

And the men kept mansplaining... morals, ethics, consequences, your intellectual curiosity at such a tender age... like a dick makes you an expert on life and morality. Life is precious! Life begins at conception. One girl appreciated my pointing out that, in terms of respecting life beginning at conception "...for animals, it never starts cuz it's okay to treat them like shit and slaughter them for food, clothing, ivory." The men didn't even touch that one, you can't mansplain to girl nuttier than a lark.

Of course, I am a girl to a mansplainer.

Not a woman with the job and the mortgage to prove my grown-up status.

But a mainsplainer will also tell me how easy it is to move to another state if I don't like the laws where I live. 'Cuz it's that easy. You just have all the money and a new job and place to live waiting for you. Duh.

As the argument descended further into the Man Pit, I pointed out that not everyone who had an abortion regrets the decision. The chief Mansplainer felt the need to point out that, having been in the situation where he and a girlfriend chose abortion, he regrets the decision and that all of us would understand when we were older. My exact response: "Not everyone who has an abortion regrets it. Of course it's a difficult, painful choice, but I don't think it's fair to act like someone can't understand a decision due to age."

" it's not fair, its true. It's called experience. You'll understand in a decade or two. Until then..."

That's actually what he said, like some sort of weird father to teenager convo after Junior got in a fight with his basketball coach.

Whenever we disagreed on something, my ex would say, "Maybe you'll understand when you're older."

Flashbacks + mansplaining. Brains seeping from ears...

I pointed out my ripe old age of 35 and dropped a classic line, "Somedays you could rob me and all you'd get is experience."

Oh, but our mansplainer had the answer for that as well: "And now at the wise old age of 35 your views are set. Great. Might I suggest a quick read, "Heaven is For Real" you might enjoy the part where the main character meets his previously unbeknownst unborn sister in heaven. Then tell me how aborting unborn children is just dandy. It could be good experience, if you dare."

For fucks' sake. You, sir, are about four years older than I, oh right, the dick gives you wisdom unbeknownst to someone of the lesser sex, like myself. And apparently, you having your views locked and loaded is just fine because you read a book about a near-death experience that fits into your religious and political views.

Be a Christian. Cool. Don't be a mansplainer.

We ended up making nice after I asked what my double dare was and decided 25 push-ups was easier than downloading the book. I really did the push-ups. Ask the Bitches. I keep my word.

Rants need happytime endings. Old school cuddling Bitches. Peace.