Let Them Eat Cake

Sweets. I could eat sweets everyday. I would pick sugar over salt every time and sugar is best with fat. I've always been that way; it's not that I dislike chips or fries, it's just that sugar, in all is delicious, make my brain happy glory, is soooo much more delightful.

I remember helping both of my grandmas and both of my parents make cookies when I was little. Chocolate chip was paramount. Peanut butter on occasion. Personally, I like a good oatmeal raisin or monster cookie, but apparently we were cookie purists in my family. Even the California Raisin craze couldn't get Tiny T to eat one. Christmas cookie baking and decorating was a huge production each year, with mom patrolling to make sure we didn't overload on the colored sugar or sprinkles.

My first pie was apple and I made it at my Grandma Mil's house. It had something to do with earning a badge for Brownie scouts. I was eight and I still remember how important I felt slicing the apples and rolling the crust. It seemed like such a monumental task for my tiny hands. Now I can turn out a crust like it's nobody's business.

The cakes, though, are what has really become a lot of fun. There are hits and misses, hell sometimes there are near catastrophes. Like the time I was asked to make a red velvet vampire cake. Cool, right? Red velvet, black and white frosting, fondant vamp teeth, and lots of red food coloring blood spatters. Sounded great. Except the cream cheese frosting you need for red velvet doesn't set up great for decorating and doesn't hold food coloring all that well. So they got a droopy vampire and black mouths. Like really black. But apparently it made for funny pics at the party. Or the time I tried to make a pug using my lamb pan and it looked like a deranged racoon. But I guess the kid loved it and I'll say thanks for the non-judgmental nature of a two-year old.

But then there are the times where I just get in a creative groove. I put on some music, apron up, and something just clicks. Sometimes the ideas I've drawn up or have floating in my head actually end up right before my eyes. In sugar! And fat! Like my Scrabble cakes or the Woody from Toy Story. Looking into my refrigerator can be really funny at time since there could be anything from a chocolate beaver to two dozen Cletus the Fetus cupcakes staring back at you.

Alli got into a cake once. It was supposed to be a 2010 end of the year cake for my friends Brian and Veronica. I didn't close the door to the spare room and as I was laying in bed, I heard Alli eating something. I lept out of bed and found her, guilty with her face in the cake. Bitches do like chocolate apparently. It was late at night, I was tired and out of eggs and couldn't bear the thought of driving to HyVee for more supplies. So I emailed B&V my apology/excuse for why I couldn't have their cake done in the morning. Defeated, I went to bed. They showed up at my work with a HyVee cake, decorated with a dog and "My Dog Ate the Cake" excuse on it. Alli couldn't have picked a better cake to ruin.