The F Word..

Last night, I couldn’t get to sleep at all. And I wasn’t busy writing a pop song. It wasn’t like when I was little and I was sure that Russian tanks would be rolling down Main Street or a nuclear bomb would blow us all to hell. It wasn’t that type of fear-induced worry where you sweat yourself into a bad dream. It was more of a mind racing from one thing to another that kept me landing on the same question. Is feminism dying?

I was all worked up because I was thinking about how female politicians that I admire like Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein are getting older. Who is gonna step up and take the lead? It’s scary to me how many people, including women, there are who are willing to back someone as blatantly anti-woman as Rick Santorum. Coincidentally, he was in a small Minnesota town, not far from where I’m typing, last night. I noticed a few Facebook posts regarding his visit and one response to a post mentioned how nice it was that someone was interested in a rural part of the country. TOO BAD HE THINKS HALF THE FUCKING PEOPLE LIVING IN SAID AREA AREN’T FIT TO LEAD AND SHOULDN’T HAVE AUTONOMY OVER THEIR BODIES.

I’ve never really understood why more women (and men) in rural areas haven’t embraced the title of feminist. All you’re affirming is you believe that regardless of what’s between one’s legs, everyone should be treated equally politically, socially, and economically. Rural women have worked raising families and doing farm work as long as there have been farms. At least that’s the way it was explained to me, by my grandmas, who both lived on farms and raised children. Why is wanting to be equal such a threat?

And insert whatever you want about religion here. Religion definitely has something to do with the weird patriarchal society that often prevails in rural areas. My favorite rural people are the Libertarians who just don’t want to be bothered. That makes so much more sense to me that trying to compartmentalize a person because of a (perceived) lack of a cock.

I understand that oppressors need someone to oppress. A bully has no identity or access if s/he has no one to beat. Historically, I realize we aren’t very far removed from segregated schools and women being denied voting rights. It’s just mind blowing to me how sexist, racist, classist, and homophobic this country still really is. Greg Brown talks about how bad change comes so quickly and good change takes so long in one of his songs. I have to cling to that sometimes.

I used to not use the “f word.” That word being feminist, since it often got a snide reaction out of people, varying from allegations of misandry to bra burner to whatever derogative they used for lesbian. I don’t hate men, own many bras, and love lesbians, but that is seriously a whole other blog that culminates in deciding whether Tabatha or Rachel is my ultimate celebrity chick crush.

I originally pondered if feminism was dead, but I was probably just being a dramatic, hysterical female. (Pause for hysterical drama.) I think it’s something fluid, like the law, open to interpretation and changing as the times change. I do think it’s important for women and girls to grasp the importance of what has changed and what work still needs to be done. It’s a different ball game for women of color and women of different economic situations. To me, one of the most important issues is getting more men to identify as feminists. Crazy? Maybe, but I think they are out there.

The first night I ever really talked to Man Friend, he looked me straight in the eye and said, “You know, I’m a misogynist.”

I didn’t know him well enough to know if he was full of shit, trying to get my goat, serious as a heart attack, or trying to find out the extent of my vocabulary.

My response?

“Well, I’m a feminist, so this could get interesting.”