Balls...

One of my Facebook friends, who happens to be a reader of this blog, posted a status update regarding getting her dog neutered today. Cool Lit Chick, since she posts things by great writers, joked about taking Henry to the vet to be castrated, or deprived of his vigor. I contemplated whether or not to post a comment on the status due to the fact that I would be notified if anyone else commented.

Both of the bitches are technically “altered females.” We won’t be birthin’ no babies here. Seeing animal shelters full of fur babies needing homes and knowing that lots of babies are euthanized simply because of lack of room at shelters and lack of forever families breaks my heart. So I am firmly in the spay and neuter your pet camp. Bless your heart, Bob.

After a bit of contemplation, I decided to give props to Cool Lit Chick for being a good parent. And then I prayed that a whole bunch of guys wouldn’t get on the “poor dog needs nut implants” bandwagon. They do make nut implants for neutered dogs. And so it goes…

Happily, there were only a couple of people concerned about Henry’s junk and it was in a playful way. But I have noticed that men seem to be more sympathetic to a dog being castrated than women are to a spayed bitch. I’ve known men who practically mourned the loss of their dog’s balls. These are the type of men who bring their Chessie Retriever with grapefruit-sized testicles swinging about to the park and then wonder why toddlers run in fear. The kids aren’t afraid of the pooch, they are afraid of knockout by scrotum.

Women, on the other hand, seem totally okay with getting a hound fixed. Whether it’s snip and rest for a dog or surgery, stitches, and rest for a bitch, for whatever reason, women don’t seem to define ourselves as much below the belt. Internal versus external? Would I have an issue, or at least more sympathy, about spaying my bitches if I could touch my own ovaries? Or if I spent a good part of my life adjusting them when I thought no one was looking?

Until the dogs evolve enough to demand reproductive rights, I guess it will be up to the pet parents. By then they should be evolved enough to have jobs and buy their own houses and kibble, so I will be totally okay with it.

All this thinking about cojones and what’s the first thing I see when I hop on the internet? An article that Mother Jones posted today regarding San Francisco’s proposed ban on male circumcision. First stop, family jewels, next stop wieners, I guess.

According to the article, only 32.9% of male babies born in the US in 2009 were circumcised. That number surprised me. Personally, I have never run into an uncircumcised Richard, so it would probably scare the hell out of me and I would run the other way screaming. Friends that I know who’ve had baby boys had them circumcised like the day after the baby was born. A friend who is pregnant said they’ve talked about it with her doctor, who quoted the same stat as Mother Jones, but said nearly everyone in this area (Midwest) has the child circumcised.

I understand the ban on female circumcision is where is whole thing started. We’ve all heard the horror stories of young women being circumcised in unhygienic situations. And the reasoning behind the female circumcision is all about controlling those young women’s sexuality.

I guess the argument against male circumcision has a basis in sex for the uncircumcised male being more pleasurable and that due to better hygiene practices, it is no longer an issue of cleanliness. The other side of the coin is that circumcised men are less likely to transmit STDs. Those were just little bits I gleaned from the article and the chatter on it. Frankly, I have been thinking about cocks and balls way too much today because of all this and the thought of Goggling anything to do with a dude’s junk just makes me tired. Plus, blogs aren’t about facts, they are about spewing opinions. I don’t see how the San Francisco ban could pass; it seems like a pretty cut (pun intended) and dry First Amendment issue since circumcision has a religious basis.

I guess we should be able to do as we wish with our bodies and if we are minors, our parents get a say. Oh, this territory is getting so familiar. Keep your hands off my uterus and I’ll keep mine off your foreskin or lack of foreskin… whatever, I am going to bed. Balls…