Lessons from Mom

Since Mother’s Day just passed, I have been thinking a lot about Mother Marilyn and moms in general, really. One’s relationship, or lack of relationship, with his/her mom has a profound impact on his/her life. I have always considered myself one of the lucky ones, even when my mom drove me nuts. And, in her defense, I am sure I drive her more nuts. Like when I was in middle school and would slam my bedroom door and crank up Pearl Jam’s “Daughter” or giving my blog a name that, when Googled, brings up “Dirty Sanchez” and German porn sites.

Nuts or no nuts, the lady has taught me many things, from the practical such as cooking and a bit of sewing, to personal values, like the importance of hard work, education, and finding the humor in every situation. So friends, as I was out running, I started a highlight list of the most important things Marilyn has taught me.

First, sometimes your profession chooses you. My mom was a high school teacher for nearly 40 years, but also studied journalism. She excelled in writing and photography. She could have taught for a few years, then continued her education and pursued a news-related career. Well, a blind date to the movie, “Shaft,” a marriage, and three kids later, she was a teacher for life. A damned good one. I used to harbor a bit of guilt in thinking that I played a part in the death of my mom’s dreams. I imagined her as a little girl, running around the farm, interviewing cows or something, and pretending to be a reporter. But her reassurance coupled with a life filled with accomplishments and lives affected made me realized that teaching was meant to be a huge part of her life’s journey.

She also taught me that a parent never forgets how you treated his/her child. Once, when I was out of high school, she said that she had run into the parent of someone who was in my class. That parent told her how much she appreciated my kindness to her child. Apparently, her child was struggling a lot, something that I didn’t realize at the time, but told her mom that I was nice to her. I didn’t remember doing anything out of the ordinary and I have to say that Marilyn seemed more proud of me in that moment than when I won an election or hit the winning shot.

You may or may not know that I haven’t had a drink in over six years. The reason I mention that is because another Marilyn lesson was that the worst pain in the entire world is to see one of your children hurting. She said she would take any physical pain over that. I know I must have put her through some pain over the years with my bullshit. For that, I am sorry. I am also hopeful that I keep growing into a person of whom she can be proud.

One of the ultimate lessons of Marilyn is that homemade is better. You could be talking food, clothes, or in the 1980s, Cabbage Patch Dolls and denim slacks. Yes, she used to make me jeans and call them denim slacks to torture me. The Cabbage Patch dolls were pretty boss, though. My little bro had one named Pete that went on a variety of trips all over the country. The current favorite homemade item is a Marilyn quilt. I have a few at my house and my man friend likes to curl up in them and cuddle with the bitches. Bitches and Marilyn quilts, that must be safer than a prayer shawl…

I’ll end with my favorite Marilyn lesson. I should preface this by saying that I never had a boyfriend until I was out of college and barely had anything considered a date prior to that, so advice about dudes wasn’t solicited often. When I actually was dating, drunk girl didn’t always pick the best dudes. When things would inevitably not work, Marilyn’s sage advice, “Sometimes you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before one turns into a prince.” Permission to be a slut?* Perhaps.

Anyway, somehow I was blessed to have a radtastic mom who deserves my love and praise everyday of the year, not just on some Sunday in May. So kudos and hugs to Marilyn. I try to be a good mom to the bitches and if I ever do make the leap to human babies, I sure had a hell of a role model.

In case you were wondering, the bitches didn’t do anything special for me on the big day, but they did lick my feet when I got home from work, so that was nice.

*Marilyn doesn’t want anyone to be a slut. She wants everyone to be comfortable and make well-informed choices about sex and dating. She probably will read this so the potential mom guilt forced me to add this disclaimer.